stuck in the middle

Here it is, June 1st. That means only 30 more days and I get to go home! I look forward to this with mixed emotions. Part of me wants to just be done with this and go home, see my family, get a job, and move on to the next chapter in my life. This is the side of me that misses the little things I normally would take advantage of:
1) driving a car - just being able to jump in a car and drive wherever I want and not have to worry about walking up that ginormous hill (especially in the rain!) and waiting for a bus...not having to worry if I have enough change for the bus...
2) shopping at WALMART!
3) going to church and being able to listen to a sermon without having to translate it in my head from Spanish to English :)
4) even tho this might make me sound lazy - not having to do my own laundry
5) eating good homemade food...what I would give for some of my mom's cooking!!!
6) late night movies or going to I90 with family and friends
7) doing the bundles at 3AM with Nick and then eating McD's breakfast croisant or some good Daylight Donuts

But then the other side of me wants to stay here in Costa Rica forever. This group has become my family the past 9 months. We've had fun, studied, laughed, cried, shopped, lived with each other, missed home together...I am very blessed to have them as friends/family. Our teachers are so nice - they seriously are putting aside their personal life to help us here and I appreciate that so much! My church family here is wonderful. I've learned so much from them and grown so much in my Spiritual Life and closer to God. And the mountains are so beautiful! They never look the same - I just love them! I wouldn't trade my experience here for anything.

So even tho I kind of feel like Paul in Philippians 1:23-24, I want to make the most of this last month here. It's not everybody who has a chance to spend a year in Costa Rica learning Spanish. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me and I don't want to waste it pining away for home. So forgive my complaining...sometimes it's just good to write down thoughts, go back and read them, realize how spoiled I am and have a change of heart.